Carnage month!

Baby showers, school reunions, 8 puppies, breading hamsters, shoots, crashes, accident proneness, races, bike events and broken bikes, my month is going NUTS.

 

So my roomies knocked up. Don’t worry she knows the father and the whole thing was planned. Although to be honest mother nature’s planning with the whole pregnancy could’ve been tweaked a bit. The poor woman is waddling around with a watermelon strapped to her front, swollen ankles, sore back and the inability to sleep. And then once she manages to pop the sproglet out (squeezing a coach through a key hole) she than has to deal with breast feeding, stretch marks and everything else coming with the whole thing. Don’t get me wrong, I love kids, just never a whole one in a sitting and my baby proofing the house to keep them out has been sneakily side stepped by her!  But she’s super happy and even doesn’t complain about her anti natial classes. I would, loudly and on all websites. So we had a baby shower and I (shudder) pinked out the house as she is having a sprogette. And we had a blast. Apparently 3 mothers in one room means carnage can happen, who knew.

So onto the next mission, school reunion at the end of the month. Firstly I was the freak at school so I was planning the avoidance or to rock up there in my bosses jag with my bosses tattoo’ d wife. Than they made it at the school chapel, and my bosses wife refused to be near me due to lightening issues.  So my other boss at the night job offered the conference area for it. So I have inadvertedly become the organiser for the cocktail part of the day. Really? I was the girl who went as the Trench coat mafia on my last day of school. Don’t worry it was dress up day, dress as something beginning with T.  There was also a terrorist so I was low on the scare list. But having chatted to a few of the girl I went to school with they’re actually really nice. Of course I was the morbid freak at school that managed to miss that. So now to research 2002. God I feel old.

Now to carry on the pregnancy out break we have had in the house, the roommate, the maid, the dog, the hamster. I am avoiding the water. The maids given birth, the dog has had the puppies and we have already re homed the Russian dwarfs. But we have 8 little rug rats running around. Now puppies are incredibly cute but they have reached 5 weeks and have found their naughty chewing side. And since they are currently living in my room it’s a problem. Every morning it’s a room sweep to check no shoes have been left out, nothing at all valuable is in puppies reach. But they have also decided that when they are hungry, which is now some ungodly hour of the morning they are going to wake us up with their howling. Cute but my god I’ve had less sleep than an insomniac on cocaine. I have named them all, mostly because of their personalities, you know how its goes. Livingstone if left for 2 seconds goes exploring, Rufus is nuts, chilli is sweet but bites, Spartacus should actually be gimp, but I thought better than give her a complex so I went with irony, Morris is like a Morris minor, classic but causes problems, hot chocolate, well she’s brown, I’ll be honest not too much imagination there, coco Chanel is the lady of the group and Flyer is beyond crazy.  So this is my new posse, beware my shoes.

 

Now I am normally accident prone. Think it can’t be dangerous, I’ll hurt myself, think its unbreakable? I’ll smash it. My poor suffering boyfriend thinks I should be a demolition expert. So I have burnt myself on a gas heater at a shoot, and didn’t notice, had my hand slammed in a car door and have walked into pretty much everything solid in the last 2 weeks, while I was sober. This is getting a tad outta hand. My BMW is leaking oil, my kdx lacks brakes, my little ktm thumper is in pieces and my new ktm bubbles is um also in pieces. I plan on locking myself in a padded cell in bubble wrap. Having crashed bubbles due to mechanics error (apparently when I told them my 3 week old bikes accelerator was sticking they thought I was off my head) I have a sore bum and back as well. Not the best thing to yell at 5 guy’s right after crashing! MY ASS IS SORE. Hmmmm rethink that strategy next time.

So if I thought that relaxing was on the cards, think again. Said poor suffering bf as a KTM selling machine is pretty much over run with events, so if I want to see the boy I need to get involves. Bad excuse I would go anyway. So with a horrible adventure ride out of the way (I lack an adventure bike so it was horrible I couldn’t go L ) he now has mx races to go to, yahh dirt, heat and mx bikes, heaven. Than the AMID show, which is the biking show to go to. Although he has almost been killed by me at i
last years one when he tried to buy me pink boots. And the list continues. So more bikes than I know what to do with but makes me smiley.

And last but not least, I get to go to Kosi bay to get shot! Modelling shooting that is. With Superbike and Dirt and Trail in the last month (exhaustion and one evil cow at the one shoot) I can’t wait for some sun, fun and rum. And apparently there is going to be some modelling as well. Hope they bring an underwater camera as I am going to be snorkelling.

I’m off to enjoy the now summer weather at the end of a jhb winter.  Miss behave!